the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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