Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
