I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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