Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
