In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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