so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
