I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
