Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
3 2 1 whiskey
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize