I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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