i may or may not be watching the land before time
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
