Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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