Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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