I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
