please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
