jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Quick, to the slutcave!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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