do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
