Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
