After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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