So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just found puke in my bra..
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize