love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I will pee on everything he values.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
