hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize