does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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