You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
