We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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