I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
