He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
