you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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