yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Randomize
