i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
