I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Watching her eat just hurts me
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
