She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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