Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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