Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
