he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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