is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
