You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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