He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
