and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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