Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
