I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
