I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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