Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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