he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
