i would punch a child for taco bell
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
