i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
and you fell through a lawn chair
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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