That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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