so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
