Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
