dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
