He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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