how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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