You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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