What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize