Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
