you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
