i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
