Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
