So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
