"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
