Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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