does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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